Some people have things easy then they get raped, robbed or just hit the gas on the car instead of the brakes and run someone over or talk in the phone and then someone is crush at the front of the car as you watched their body flung all over the place you think how fragile the body is that it cant withstand a car?
Some have a happy childhoods, I didn’t. I searched for my place took me a long time to understand what my interests was and once I found them I guess I am a little autistic. I don’t think Sweden for example should win in hockey anymore as those guys are overpaid luxury assholes but that’s me today might change my mind about it tomorrow.
How we deal with bad shit,
how we move on and don’t let what was or did happen define us.
We are not the captain Kirk needing our past to define us.
I met a girl once finding her brother hanging from the roof after killing himself. She broke up her wedding a week before it was due to happen, she kicked the guy out, she quit her job and then went on traveling with a circus and fucking a guy all summer. Yes I did have something to do with that.
I met those with cancer and rheumatoid and other stuff and they are now better off.
It wont mean they survive, I seen someone with 5 brain tumors giving up and no they didn’t survive.. I also met fantastic resilient people doing things in spite of all odds. I met girls sexually abused and I met accidents people who just had a bad turn in life. I met people trying to save someone who is a drug addict and cant let them go.
I met people who denied their own family patterns of stupidness as I call it. I seen mothers turned away from their own children leaving them hanging.
When my sisters told me to come to Christmas and she have had a hell with our mom as she went into this guilt/blame pattern with my sisters kids I knew what to do, so I did that and since then I met my mom one time and talked to her once and its been 8 or so years now.
For me her behavior towards my sister and her kids was simply unacceptable.
So I did what I had to do as none else could do it as they didn’t even understand what was actually going on. My sister cried for an hour, I spent some time explaining to them what did happen as my mom left and took everyone else with them along the way.
With great powers comes great responsibility
and I knew I had to stop my moms behavior dead on.
Things did improve for my sister, her kids now and more so she had choices now.
It wasn’t an easy thing to do even for me but I knew one thing I was the one that could do it.
No regrets at all.
I don’t get a thank you note either, none comes to me and says, good job bro, you did that and saved us. I don’t expect it either as whatever I am doing I don’t do for praise to be good as I study human nature and think and behaving and sometimes we just get things from past generations that needs addressing.
I had clients telling me they was about to kill themselves and I was like are you stupid and miss out on ice-cream?
I did 170 air squats last night, so today I am dead tired, and way early awaken due to some things they are changing in the apartment and I am likely to sleep during the day. 10 days into the spring work out and its work but as far I can tell its working.
Bad things will happen, sometimes we find out someone cheats on us so we kick them out, find someone that wont do it by changing how we find people by changing ourselves.
I met this girl who had guys cheating on her every time, she tried so hard to keep them they had to cheat to get her off their backs. She had to change herself.
It’s a lot about this experience, a way of life you might call it that whatever we have is this moment and whenever I talk to Hans or someone else, I make sure I have something to add and have the experience I want to have. Sometimes it isn’t about talking at all.
We can abide our limitations and go, this is it I cant do more than this or we can say even if I cant do more I will try my best to do better and more of what I do want.
We can let our past define us, accept it and spend time there or we can discover what its like choosing how to experience the world.
And that is different.
Its an unique way to define that your you can be whatever it you want it to be no matter what is true or not.
I am a superhero, you?
[small thanks to Goobers80 for inspiration to be that she is to be is not the question we ask]