20+ years later

20 or so years ago I decided NLP was like a Swiss cheese filled with holes of not knowing and that wasn’t working out for me or my clients as I wanted better.

I desired to have a technology that was driven out of improvement but as I searched and checked, none was out there that made sense to me.

I had to build it, called it RBIm and here we are.

RBImGuy rants about life and credibility

The comment from Ron reminded me that people are likely to be negative, unhappy and uneducated and proud.

If someone at school had educated me better as knowing what people do in groups and don’t ask questions and understand what’s going on, but as it is the world is a scary place.

I build models, I done things for so long as I look at the evidence and then improve things, its what I do.

Are you getting better?

Skills and how good you are fit.

If everything you do when improving is to ensure to be a little better every time you warm up and practice then you will transcend into easy and simple performance even if your not think it will work.

Intended practice, deep seated focus while knowing what distinctions defined is needed allows for unprecedented improvement to talented.

The system of families

Maybe we all should watch the sopranos and think, Gee what a fuck up family right?

Try finding a normal family, I haven’t yet, the one I had was fucked up, the once I met been all in any regard dysfunctional along the way in some way.

So how do we teach people what normal is when no one around seems normal and functional?

If all you been introduced and taught is pain or tragic then how would we go about teaching what normal is when that will be totally foreign to us and often said that isn’t normal and wrong as that would be the normal response.

I had golfers tell me this feels wrong and then swung at the ball hitting it 60 yards longer. It didn’t feel like they assumed to believe it should.

I had clients tell me things like that also and I said well how do you feel when this is like this then? Great and calm and whatever else so I said maybe then this is the new normal for you then?

People cant understand the new trough the old as the new seems all wrong for them as it does not fit their world view.

The system is now transitioned but the concepts in what we come to believe isn’t yet.

NLP users would believe that accessing states is a key for anyone to feel resourceful but that approach won’t work. However the NLP user will believe it will work in spite of evidence due to people taught them that it would work and in the face of evidence then will delete the evidence and still think what they do would work when it isn’t.

That’s btw really bad for the NLP education and for people seeking their help.

The Meta-model of NLP

How do you teach the meta-model?

One can ask what it is and that means asking questions to clarify information. To find out the deletions,distortions and generalizations in a statement. Teaching it that way sucks btw as none would understand what to do then.

If someone says “ I hate my neighbors” you might be scared as you’re a neighbor yourself  and when you ask them what you mean by hate? They will say I hate how their garden looks so good…and your assumption “hate” leading to violence can be assured to be false.

Its easy to jump to conclusion what people mean when they don’t mean what they say as you lack information that needs to be clarified by asking questions.

I simply ask, what you mean by that or why statement questions.

I understand why we ask those questions and how to organize the information.

The way they teach this in NLP does not do that.

If you understand the work I do with RBIm then you also will find why I ask questions the way I do. Since everything we do is organized into contextual forms which btw NLP don’t understand and cant work with their teachings with the metamodel will always be a hack.

  • First: what’s the context?
  • Second: What’s the comparison?

Once you defined those you also ask questions to clarify those first as then you will be able to understand the statement made by the individual or yourself.

All statements we make are made by causality which means X leads to Y.

NLP assumed that asking questions the way they do in therapy as Milton did was the way to go about doing it but the way modeling works in NLP the way Grinder teaches it don’t allow for you to uncover how it works as you be stuck within the process of the model Grinder provides you with.

My models don’t.

They are better.

Now statements like “ I am stuck” “Life sucks”  “Get a life.” “Must you wear that silly hat?” “I can’t have a relationship until I lose weight.”

Now normally you challenge the statement by offering a example back but often that example wont be good enough for the individual and wont help them either.

  • “Must you wear that silly hat?”
  • “Silly in whose opinion?”

Now that might lead to a clarifying statement but why even ask that question?

You already know the person saying it think its silly. No need to ask.
you also know the individual wearing the hat most likely does not think its silly.

So there should be here a reason for this exchange to occur which is a context and a casual statement trough comparison. Which btw isn’t stated and then should be uncovered to make sense of the exchange of silly hats.

It might be someone jealous of the hat, or feeling unsecure about the situation and hats or whatever else but that isn’t clarified yet and I wouldn’t even question such due to people make statements all the time and their opinion about life is neither right or wrong it just is their opinion about something.

Take “Make America great again” stated by Donald Trump. Wearing a baseball cap made in Taiwan.

Now you have his statement and his behavior that is acting against one another.

I believe the behavior not the statement.

When people make statements and then have behaviors not doing the action we have a discrepancy here. That’s the part you want to uncover to understand what’s going on.

When the drug addict tells you they going clean and then end up buying drugs their statement means what?

People might believe things but that isn’t reality.

If your behavior don’t match the statement we have a deletion, distortion and a generalization happening.

That’s how you teach the meta-model so its actually useful to use.

The details and the devil

Its easy to get stuck with the details, teaching things means people seldom drop it all mainly due to they can do things but never figured out what it was and then taught and lot of material was left out.

When I watched Lydia Ko go head to head with Morgan presell I knew one thing, Lydia wins by 5 shots. I was wrong, she won with 3 due to she made a bogie on 18 and Pressel made a birdie.

Now, How did I know this?

Looking at scoring shows how people perform and Pressel can loose a shot with any swing she does. So she is basically 20 shot worse than Lydia for 4 days.

If her coach knew what to do to fix it they would.

Consistency means never make bad mistakes that cost shots you will hit bad shots but do they cost a shot?

People believe things without facts as its been assumed so.

I looked beyond believes and what I found was a guy the devil and he was all in the details and then I looked beyond that and found a conceptual idea used by Feynman that you can take anything you don’t understand, overlap to a metaphor the apply a teaching lesson to a five year old.

You be surprised how simple even the most difficult subjects becomes applying that.

Now, why isn’t that taught to kids in school the first thing they do?

They will understand every subject the first year.

I guess that devil is taking up their time teaching.

History has change

When I wrote my first book back in 1998 or so it took me 3 weeks to get it down and done and 3 more months to revise.

The recent two book projects taken me  a few days.

(revisions not included)

The different efficiency today vs soon 20 years ago are staggering.
I put down the content which basically once finished then revisions takes place the feedback loop and during that phase the material also changes with order and sequence.

The end product will be different than first envisioned.

At current pace I am likely done with the content in a week. Albeit I hit the tired threshold early on though. The revision phase is to add and remove and order the sequence of the content.

Once that starts to be finalized one then use feedback from external sources to check the material itself.

The hard work for me is to get the content down first. Once the bulk is there the revisions will push the format and normally all this be a piece of cake but with my health is more like a triathlon.

Anyhow, done for today as I wrote on both projects in the deep assigned task.

Creating a whole new magic trough RBIm

Back years ago I found the comparison mode as the memory of sexual abuse vanished for a client while not worked on and I didn’t even know about it.

That road to vanishing old traumas, old history, memories is coming true in a plug your brain for fun way.

Magic

Present state

so how do one do two book projects?

I often suggest, write an hour or two, set aside this time, no phones, mail, internet just do writing and then the rest of the day do whatever else.

Its called deep work.

I first write content to get it all down first. what to say, etc…
Once that phase is over I start to write revisions. Subtract and add after the initial phase due to things will change as information goes down.

  • Write all content down.
  • Start revisions
  • The final product will be different than the first idea.

Revisions means your using feedback to alter the information. Might not be enough or to much depending on the subject. Phase one can be hours even days or weeks. The main work is revisions. That takes most time as your likely to rewrite everything several times over.

Most think the initial writing is hard or difficult it isn’t, the revisions will be the main bulk of the work. I can write 100 books without even trying but the main work to get them done will take ages.

I use atavist atm it’s a program online, allowing me to add images, video, audio so I can make it more multimedia.

So then its not just a book but something a bit more depth within it.

Who created/developed NLP?

If one asks me the answer is obvious, John Grinder did.

Without him I wouldn’t sit here writing this.

Now and then people debate such but the answer is obvious as otherwise what would have happen is not much. We seen hypnosis and Bandler was incapable to build models the way they turned out with Grinder.

When core transformation was developed it was based upon the work of Roye Fraser, the andreases model his work and put it into the process form of NLP and totally missed the point. Modeling wont mean you get things right.

However refinement and definition is based upon what the result achieved defined are. So if one define the end result achieved in one way that also means the model itself will end up flawed depending in how the result was defined.

So we can have at least two sources for the wrong information both the definition of the result and the way the modelers go about their modeling.

When some of the world discoveries was made trough the centuries many people worked on the same problems and those we know today are those that published their result early on. They become named after the discoveries even though they were not the first ones.

Nikola Tesla for example discovered the radio.
He also built the lightbulb.
He also discovered remote control.

Yes! you will say and think now that what I wrote there isn’t right due to you learned that trough school that taught you lies.

The radio was Tesla and no one else and I wasn’t taught that when I was growing up and the fuck heads lied to me in school.

Then you have NLP and people telling you they lie to you up front.

The human nature to let the lies slide is astounding the morality and ethical concerns of humans are debatable at best. Let say someone came up and offered you one billion dollars to cut off someone’s head, now at first you would say no way I do that and then they say well its this person and then you thought ok I can do this then.

That’s how language works btw somehow you made sense of who that person might be and what made it doable and possible to do just that what you just thought you couldn’t do.

That’s a language trick a hypnotic if you like trick.
You have a human go from no way to yes way in a sentence.
and besides one billion dollar are a lot of money.

When Bandler sued people like John Grinder for stealing NLP away from him as he said he did create it etc…and I asked John La Valle directly what this was about and he told me to read the judge decision as I asked this, what was Bandlers NLP and he never answered me about it as there is none.

After the fact we can use concepts and language to create the wanted outcome but that one might never have happen but we think it did. When we do its as real as any real event that took place.

RBIm is a way to learn how to work with language trough context and understand the human frail perception as we are so susceptible to suggestion without ever realize it.

Its so easy to be fooled by the fogs of language and process and unconscious trough representation when people then are missing the obvious.

That language and representations are part of a process that can be mapped trough context using RBIm and then there as no process.